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20 Best Latin Jokes & Puns That Carpe Diem

You came, you saw, you chortled! You'll be laughing until you ad nauseam with these ludicrously funny Latin jokes!

Do you crease up at the Classics? If Latin is your language of laughter then you're in for a treat! This top 20 collection of Latin jokes would have had Hadrian in hysterics... Well, you know - if he hadn't died almost 2000 years ago! If you're looking for the best jokes in the Empire, then read on!

And if you want more historical high-jinx, we've got these hilarious history jokes, these funny jokes about the Queen, these Viking jokes, or even these epic ancient Egypt jokes! Jokes for everyone!

Ok, back to that Mediterranean mirth!

A Roman walks in a bar and says "I'd like a Martinus" "You mean a Martini?"

"No, if I wanted more than one I would've said so!"

A Roman walks into a restaurant, holds up two fingers and says:

Table for five please!

How do you privately tell someone to seize the day?

With a Carpe DM!

Why did the school student think he aced his Latin exam?

His teacher graded him a C!

What happens to Latin teachers after they quit their jobs?

They decline!

Why were Roman poets annoyed with Caesar?

He imposed a Livy on Latin literature!

A roman mathematician

Which Roman poet was seen to be the best investment?

Propertius

I'm proud that I got 40% on my Latin exam

After all, you should always XL!


Found my roommate chanting in Latin to his breakfast

He was peforming an eggcorcism!

Bacon jokes

What did the Roman name his loyal dog?

Bona fide!

Mal...

Is the Latin root of all evil!

Can somebody help me translate 'mundus' from Latin?

It would mean the world to me!

 I hate the misuse of Latin phrases...

...and vice versa!

Why was the Latin teacher sick?

From explaining what 'ad nauseum' meant for the millionth time!

What is the Latin word for "one-piece bathing suit"?

Bikinus!

What do you call a man who sings in Latin?

Greg or Ian! 

What do you call an insect who speaks Latin?

A roman-tic!

"Gnome" is a corruption of the Latin "Genomus", or earth dweller

In other words, it's a misgnomer!

I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 as Roman numerals!

IM LIVID!

Who cares about learning the Roman Numeral system?

I, for one…!