20 Nail Jokes & Puns
Check out these toe-tally awesome nail jokes to tickle your pinkie!
They're the hard bits on the ends of your fingers and toes - they're your nails! And whether they're long or short, neat or gross, sharp or painted nice colours - we've collected 20 of the funniest jokes all about them! So read on and find out which rock band hates nail clippers, how to stop biting your nails, or why elephants paint their toenails red! Phew!
If you're after some more body-related buffoonery, then check out these leg jokes, these ankle jokes, or even these arm jokes! We've got jokes for every part of the body! Well, almost every part of the body!
Let's read on then, toenail fans!
It was nice when I let my fingernails grow a little
But now it's getting out of hand!
What do you call a felonious toenail?
A hardened cuticle!
I found some old newspaper with clippings
Toenails, I think!
I find it hard to stop biting my nails
Because I always have them on hand!
My friend is a beautician who wants to learn Eastern European languages
It sounds hard, but I know she's going to nail Polish!
None of the nail art tutorials on Youtube are good
All the thumbnails look trashy!
I broke up with a girl who was missing a few toes
Because I am lack-toes-intolerant!
Want a surefire trick to break your nail-biting habit?
Take up plumbing!
I’ve been trying to think of a cuticle joke
And I just nailed it!
Why did the guy have to have his toe checked out?
Because it had a nail in it!
What do you call a rock band that hates nail clippers?
Nine-Inch Nails!
What do people with a missing finger get at the nail salon?
10% off!
My toenails turned green, shrank, and started smelling like mint
I have a rare condition called Tic Tac Toes!
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees!
How does Neil deGrasse Tyson trim his toenails?
Eclipse them!
At first I didn't really care for this toenail fungus…
…but it's really starting to grow on me!
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his toe?
Mitosis!
What's the hardest part about making a manicure joke?
You really have to nail it!
I got some great new nail clippers for Christmas
They’re cutting edge!
What did the mathematician do about his ingrown toenail infection?
Sohcahtoa!
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