Skip to main content
Subscribe to our Beano comic! Click Here
Beano Comic

20 Halloween Make-Up Jokes

You'll smudge your Halloween make-up reading these eye-wateringly funny jokes!

Not enough? Don't sweat it, we've got loads of monstrously funny Halloween, ghost or vampire jokes!

And check out our Joke Generator for random jokes for kids, or browse our categories for kids jokes on almost every subject.

Why are zombies always hired as make-up artists?

Because they have to put their face on every morning!

halloween jokes

How do ghosts put foundation on?

They brush with death!

What do make-up artists say on Halloween?

Lipstick or treat!

How do you make a jack-o-lantern pretty?

Use pump-concealer!

Why do vampires never wear make-up?

Because they can't see their reflection!

Why do mummies always look tired?

Because daughters always steal mummies make-up!

Why could the cyclops not stop crying?

They had really good moistur-eyes-er!

halloween jokes

Why couldn't the wizard pick the right eyeliner?

They didn't know witch to choose!

What's a vampires favourite lipstick shade?

Blood red!

Why did the vampire need to get their make up on fleek?

Because there was a lot at stake!

What's a magician's favourite make-up?

Vanishing cream!

What kind of wand does a wizard use before a party?

A mascara wand!

The monster under my bed wouldn't stop trying to sell me make-up...

Eyelashed out!

Why did the werewolf put lipstick on his head?

He was told to make-up his mind!

I once made a vampire blush...

But apparently vampires don't wear make-up!

Why do vampires like make-up so much?

They're always lurking in the eye shadows!

What's a witch's favourite make-up product?

Scream cream!

Why was the invisible man upset?

No one complimented his make over!

What's a ghost's favourite makeup product?

Concealer!

What kind of make-up do ghosts wear?

Ma-scare-a!

Music, Movie, TV and Gaming Jokes